Archive for January, 2010

People booking flights just to be seen naked on body scanners

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Airports with full body scanners on trial have found that many people are booking flights for the sole purpose of being seen naked by somebody other than themselves. »

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Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

iPad Roleplay gives users full Charlie Bird experience

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

A little known feature of the new Apple iPad is the facility whereby users can set their unit to give them the virtual experiences of a celebrity of their choice. »

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Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Taoiseach chose Nama because he ‘loved the sound’ of the word

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

According to sources in Government buildings Taoiseach Brian Cowen opted for Nama over nationalisation of the banks because he loved the sound of the word. »

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Posted in Economy, Politics | 1 Comment »

Loan sharks stress importance of staying in touch

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

Many of the country’s leading loan sharks have stressed that debtors should always advise their loan sharks of a change in their circumstances. »

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Posted in Economy | No Comments »

Officials consider hiring on-course milfs to entice Tiger back to golf

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

The Mire has learned that senior officials in professional golf are considering hiring on-course milfs to entice Tiger Woods back to the professional game. »

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Posted in Sports, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Bank crisis inquiry to proceed with ‘mental reservation’

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

The Mire understands that Fianna Fail and Green Party negotiators have reached a compromise that will allow some elements of the inquiry into the banking crisis to be heard in public. »

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Posted in Economy, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Minister for Health position may be discontinued if Harney resigns

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Fears that Mary Harney may resign as Minister for Health have prompted panic on all sides of Leinster House where no one wants to succeed her. »

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Posted in Health, Politics, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Gardai say no missing persons report filed on Enda Kenny

Friday, January 15th, 2010

Gardai from stations around the country have confirmed to The Mire that no missing persons report has been filed on Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny and nobody is looking for him. »

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Posted in Politics | 3 Comments »

Unused sat navs become introverted, bitter and subversive

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

A man who claimed his car’s sat nav system told him to burn down a Dublin Garda station has been released without charge pending further investigation of the sat nav system in question. »

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Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Health and safety officers to save costs by working from home

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

The Government has issued instructions for all health and safety officers working in the public sector to work from home for the foreseeable future. »

Posted in Health, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »