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Broadcasters ban vagina to help Tiger Woods fight sex addiction

March 19, 2010

The decision by television stations in the United States not to broadcast tampon adverts with the word vagina in them was intended to help Tiger Woods in his battle with sex addiction, The Mire has learned.

“The simplest thing could trigger a relapse for Tiger,” a broadcaster said. “If he hears the word vagina in a weak moment things could get real ugly real fast.”

Woods has announced that he will return to golf in the Masters tournament in April after a five month break to fight sex addiction – an increasingly common disorder people suffer from when they get caught having affairs

It is thought that tournament organisers may even ban women from attending the Masters to reduce the risk of a relapse. Some slightly effeminate male golfers may also be asked to stay away.

“Obviously we want to help Tiger but we also have to bear in mind that this is a family event,” a source said. “No one wants to see him relapse in the middle of a golf course on live television.”

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