Results from the Performance Evaluation monitors placed on 200 public servants yesterday have come to the controversial conclusion that as many as 37 per cent of state employees are probably dead.
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Irish news and current affairs skewed. On a clear day you can see the confusion for miles
Economy
Monitors reveal 37% of state employees are ‘probably’ dead
Public servants to trial pay-related performance monitors
Public service unions desperate to avoid another round of pay cuts in the December budget have reluctantly agreed to the trial of pay-related Performance Evaluation Monitors for public servants.
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Diggers to be impounded in vacant hotels and shops to avert atm crime
Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern is to introduce emergency legislation to impound all diggers and other plant machinery in an effort to put a stop to the recent spate of atm robberies using stolen diggers.
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Govt fury at Waterford by-pass finishing within budget
The Government has promised that no expense will be spared in investigating the circumstances that enabled the Waterford city by-pass to be completed on budget and ahead of schedule.
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Cost benefit analysis of state agencies fails to find any benefit
A cost benefit analysis of all state agencies which was ordered by Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan has had to be abandoned after it could find no discernible benefit to measure cost against.
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TDs to bring toilet roll to work, but not yet ready to be toilet-trained
The Brutalised Taxpayers’ Association (BTA) has welcomed news that TDs and Senators will bring toilet roll to work with them in future to help curb rampant costs.
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Angry cabinet protests against Government
Traffic was severely disrupted in the centre of Dublin today as angry members of the Cabinet took to the streets to protest against the Government.
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Kenny has ‘frank relationship’ with voices in his head
Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny has launched a stinging attack on Taoiseach Brian Cowen for failing to listen to the voices in his head.
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Taoiseach not drinking enough say sources in his head
In an unprecedented exclusive sources inside the Taoiseach’s head have revealed that, contrary to media speculation, Brian Cowen is not drinking nearly enough.
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Professionals in McJobs lowering fast food standards
An action group representing all the major players in the fast food industry is calling a special two-day conference to deal with the problems posed to service standards by employing former solicitors, architects and other professionals in fast food restaurants.
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