Sports
GAA rift over ‘pinkie swear’ method to disavow manager payments
A proposal to have county boards make sworn statements that no unauthorised payments are being made to team managers is causing a rift in the GAA. »
Blatter accused of using blind referees for his own entertainment
The President of Fifa, the governing body of football, has come under attack for cruelly exposing blind people to danger and mockery. »
Ryan to reveal plans for rugby to replace oval ball with round one
Energetic Minister Eamon Ryan is expected to reveal plans for rugby to ditch the oval ball in favour of the round one later today. »
Uproar as GAA seeks to phase out great tradition of assaulting referees
There has been uproar in many quarters following suggestions that the GAA may phase out the time-honoured tradition of assaulting referees. »
Confusion as Augusta holes cemented so as not to tempt Tiger
There was widespread confusion at Augusta National today after the holes on the course were filled in with quick-drying cement to stop Tiger Woods having sex with them. »
Aid agencies arrive in Limerick for national binge drinking disaster
Humanitarian aid workers and emergency services have begun to arrive in Limerick to prepare for the fallout from the national drinking binge due to take place on Good Friday. »
Broadcasters ban vagina to help Tiger Woods fight sex addiction
The decision by television stations in the United States not to broadcast tampon adverts with the word vagina in them was intended to help Tiger Woods in his battle with sex addiction, The Mire has learned. »
Chelsea players have sex with local woman while celebrating goal
A local Wolverhampton woman has said she felt used after several Chelsea players had sex with her while celebrating Didier Drogba’s second goal against Wolverhampton Wanderers at Molineux on Saturday. »
All eyes on Tiger as he appears in public without shagging anyone
All eyes will be on Florida at 4pm today when Tiger Woods is to attempt to appear in public for up to 20 minutes without shagging anyone. »
Faithful woman denies sex romps with Terry,Tiger
A Tullamore woman who insists she has never had sex with John Terry or Tiger Woods has been dismissed as a liar and a delusional fantasist with no grasp on reality. »