The Mire is able to reveal that there is still considerable confusion as to whether Tiger Woods and Van Morrison had a baby together over Christmas.
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Irish news and current affairs skewed. On a clear day you can see the confusion for miles
Sports
Van Morrison denies affair with Tiger, also denies knowing himself
The Mire reflects on a pig’s mickey of a year – twisted and crooked
It was a year that began with a visit from several British MPs to Dail Eireann to study the mystifying way in which our TDs resisted resigning.
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Gardai say no evidence Guinness fire was started by FAI
Gardai have said there is no evidence to support the allegation that yesterday’s fire at the Guinness brewery was started by senior figures in the FAI.
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Sexperts fear quitting golf could damage Tiger’s ‘game’
Some of the world’s leading sexperts are concerned that Tiger Woods’ decision to quit golf “indefinitely” could have a terrible impact on his performance between the sheets.
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FIFA offers Delaney title of Official Gimp to Sepp Blatter
The Mire can reveal that FIFA president Sepp Blatter is to offer FAI supremo John Delaney the honourary title of Official Gimp to Sepp Blatter as moral compensation for Ireland’s World Cup qualifier loss to France.
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FIFA says No but Delaney says ‘Sod Them – We Go!’
“Pack your bags and raid your credit unions,” was the defiant message emerging from FAI sources this morning as it became clear that the sinister organisation’s chief executive, John Delaney, is determined to bring Ireland to World Cup 2010 in South Africa irrespective of FIFA or Sepp Blatter’s wishes.
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NASA finds life on Mars – Martians enraged by Henry’s cheating
In one of the most extraordinary and exciting developments since man first walked on the moon NASA scientists believe they have found signs of intelligent life on Mars.
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FAI asks Man City star to change his name to bring closure
With the crucial World Cup qualifier against France set for tomorrow the FAI has attempted to close the door on the long-running Stephen Ireland saga by asking him to change his surname.
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Kidney bans X Factor, fears JEdward effect on Leinster players
As they prepare to face the Wallabies in Croke Park on Sunday the nation’s finest rugby players have been banned from watching, talking about or reading about the X Factor.
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Munster deny defeat was because they like short shorts
Munster have emphatically denied suggestions that their crushing 30-0 defeat to Leinster in the Magners league on Saturday happened because their shorts were too tight.
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