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Public servants to trial pay-related performance monitors

October 23, 2009

Public service unions desperate to avoid another round of pay cuts in the December budget have reluctantly agreed to the trial of pay-related Performance Evaluation Monitors for public servants.
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Government survives ‘Drinkgate’ with shocking bad hangover

October 22, 2009

Late night negotiations in the Dail bar to resolve the backbench rebellion which has become known as the Drinkgate crisis broke up at 6 am this morning with tentative signs of agreement.
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Enda Kenny to abolish Dail, Fine Gael and himself

October 19, 2009

In a radical move that has sent shockwaves through the political system Fine Gael leader and Taoiseach in waiting Enda Kenny has said that he will abolish the Dail and the office of Taoiseach when he becomes Taoiseach.
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Angry cabinet protests against Government

October 7, 2009

Traffic was severely disrupted in the centre of Dublin today as angry members of the Cabinet took to the streets to protest against the Government.
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Opportunities in obesity for musclebound carers

October 2, 2009
Opportunities in obesity for musclebound carers

Bouncers and other musclebound security workers who have lost employment in the downturn were offered hope today when FAS announced funding to retrain them to look after the ever increasing number of obese people who are now too fat to look after themselves.
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Food and packaging interchangeable, report finds

July 31, 2009

A report into the qualities of processed foods commonly available in shops and supermarkets has concluded that they do not provide any significant nutritional or health benefit that would not also be provided by eating the food’s packaging instead.
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Bono gets Madonna, Jolie to adopt Celtic Tiger cubs

July 27, 2009

U2′s preparations for the last of their Croke Park gigs have been marred by a tiff between frontman Bono and drummer Larry Mullen over Bono’s latest humanitarian mission – getting his celebrity friends to adopt Mirish children devastated by the economic meltdown.
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Cabinet concern as ‘God’ and ‘Country’ square off

July 23, 2009

The rift between Taoiseach Brian Cowen and Justice Minister Dermot Ahern has widened after Mr Ahern refused to leave his vigil at the tree stump in Rathkeale in Limerick to attend a meeting with Mr Cowen over the President’s council of state meeting.
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Union fights for jobs of staff who don’t work

July 23, 2009

Sources on both sides of the Bank of Ireland pay dispute have admitted that reaching resolution on the issue is unlikely unless it can be established what the staff involved actually do for a living.
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Con Sultans enjoy gloom boom

July 17, 2009

While increasing numbers of Mirish people continue to suffer the indignity of having to eat sandwiches instead of paninis, the boom years are just beginning for the nation’s Con Sultans as they prepare to offer their expertise to the process of implementing An Bord Snip Nua’s cost-cutting measures.
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