As TDs return to their constituencies for the summer break Gardai have urged communities to operate nightly curfews, leaving the desolate streets to the elected representatives.
“Whenever the Dáil rises we can expect anxious times in the constituencies,” a Garda spokesman said. “TDs tend to hunt in packs and they can be quite intimidating.”
“Whatever you do, don’t approach a TD empty-handed,” the spokesman added. “They are quite childlike and might not harm you if you have a treat for them, preferably something shiny.”
The spokesman warned everyone to steer clear of Green Party TDs who “don’t like shiny things and recycle their victims”.
A leading economist said it was essential that the TDs be allowed take their break for a full 12 weeks. “The longer their break, the greater the prospect of economic recovery,” he said.
Would a shiny machete do?
That would do nicely