Vital talks between Fianna Fail and the Green Party on revising the Programme for Government had to be delayed this morning as some members of the Green negotiating team were helping Gardai with their enquiries.
Incredibly, Environment Minister and Green Party leader John Gormley, Energy Minister Eamon Ryan, Nice Fresh Food Minister Trevor Sargent and Senator Dan Boyle were all found to have entered their neighbours’ back gardens late last night to urinate in their compost bins.
“We caught them wet-handed but we are still trying to establish whether or not this is a crime,” a Garda source said.
It seems unlikely that the owners of the compost bins will want to see the Green leadership charged. “It was positively heroic, and great for accelerating the breakdown of compost,” one neighbour said.
However, The Mire has learned that Mr Gormley may have a more serious case to answer than his colleagues as his neighbours don’t have compost facilities. “It would appear that Mr Gormley somehow gained access to their house and urinated in their highly sophisticated kitchen sink waste disposal unit,” the Garda source said. “The owners are distraught.”
“How ridiculous,” Mr Gormley is understood to have commented. “Imagine living beside me and not having a compost bin.”
A leading political analyst told The Mire that the Green leadership was desperately trying to prove to its grassroots that it remains relevant and worthy of support. “This could swing it for them,” he said.
