As they prepare to face the Wallabies in Croke Park on Sunday the nation’s finest rugby players have been banned from watching, talking about or reading about the X Factor.
It is understood that coach Declan Kidney is worried that the slightest exposure to JEdward could cause the Leinster players in the squad to unleash their inner ladyboy – suffer a recurrence of the ladyboy syndrome which dogged Leinster rugby for years.
This vicious virus which caused sufferers to ponce about indiscriminately still effects many Leinster fans. Although very few players ever suffered from it Kidney’s management team are taking no chances.
“We’re keeping a close eye on the Leinster lads, looking for tell-tale signs like backcombing or eyeliner,” a spokesman said. “If we see anything like that the person responsible will be immediately quarantined.”
The spokesman denied that management were particularly concerned about one player. “We are monitoring all of them, not just Luke Fitzgerald,” he said.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Donal Conaty. Donal Conaty said: Kidney bans X Factor, fears JEdward effect on Leinster players http://themire.net/?p=541 [...]
Sir,
as a citizen who has been drunk driving since before it was popular or profitable, I feel compelled to barge in here and comment on the subject of UNESCO and WWF providing courtesy buses for rural drinkers. This is an outrage and and a disgrace! The ramifications of this interference in the delicate fabric of rural life have been ignored. Population growth will plummet as children once sired by drunkards like myself getting lost and crawling into bed with other mens’ wives will now be deposited straight to their own homes and their empty cold beds.
Yours etc
Dominic Magner