The Government has announced that leopards will be legally obliged to change their spots after the next general election. Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan last night said legislation to give effect to the new law will pass all stages in the Oireachtas, before the Dáil and Seanad rise for the summer recess.
The move follows exhaustive but ultimately fruitless efforts to convince leopards to change their spots voluntarily. Mr Lenihan had written to leopards several weeks ago requesting their co-operation “in the national interest”. However, he was universally snubbed by the leopards who didn’t even bother to reply.
He then entered negotiations with leopard representatives the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) but they were adamant that there was no possibility of leopards changing their spots: “This is simply not possible. He might as well ask politicians to give up pension benefits,” a spokesman said. “They are not capable of doing so. The national interest doesn’t really motivate leopards.”
However, a spokesman for Mr Lenihan said he had been assured by no less an authority than David Bellamy that leopards can change their spots. Mr Bellamy had been hired to consult on the issue and his advice formed the basis of the new legislation.
