Making bribes work in the new economy
Enterprise Mireland and Fas are to hold a series of evening courses around the country on Making Bribes Work in the New Economy. A spokesman for Enterprise Mireland said it had received numerous calls from people who are increasingly confused as to who, how and how much to bribe.
“So much has changed in so little time,” a spokesman said. “People are finding it hard to keep up. A classic example is the whole green issue. We have had a green economy for a year now but a great many people are still putting bribes in ordinary brown envelopes.”
“People should know by now that all bribes – without exception – should be put in recycled envelopes. There has been widespread anger and confusion from people whose bribes have not worked but they have only themselves to blame if they haven’t been using recycled envelopes.”
The spokesman said people also need to take stock of the prevailing economic climate. “Since the downturn officials have been receiving smaller bribes. Obviously these bribes have not been successful – with more people competing for fewer contracts the cost of bribing goes up not down.”
The spokesman said the information evening would also address the popular misconception that a bribe will automatically succeed. “Bribing is a very competitive environment,” he said, “but it is a meritocracy – the best bribe usually wins.”
In keeping with the subject matter the course fee is at the discretion of the participant.