Results from the Performance Evaluation monitors placed on 200 public servants yesterday have come to the controversial conclusion that as many as 37 per cent of state employees are probably dead.
Figures vary according to which department the dead employees work in with as many as 64 per cent probably dead in the health service while only 23 per cent appear to be dead in the Department of Arts, Sports and Tourism.
“Even if they are dead,” a trade union spokesman said, “they are working as hard as they can in appalling conditions.”
The highly sophisticated monitors were expected to give a clear indication of the percentage of time each public servant spends working and how hard they work during that time. It was hoped, all future public service pay would be based on monitored performance. However, the project has now been shelved.
“The monitors have crashed,” a source said. “Their hard drives have been erased by lethargy, inertia and listlessness. Work activity was detected on only one monitor but after investigation it transpired the employee was working on a nixer.”
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