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New era dawns as banks refer to customers as victims

January 5, 2010

The Mire has learned that the interim financial watchdog is to reform the language of banking as an initial step in trying to change the behaviour of banks.

“Most bankers don’t think they did anything wrong,” a spokesman said. “By changing the language of banking we believe bankers will come to accept that what they do is wrong and will ultimately stop doing it.”

“So, from January 11th bank customers will be referred to as ‘victims’ and all transactions will be known as ‘muggings’ or ‘violations’. This is a small step but we believe it is a step in the right direction,” he added.

“It is hoped at a later date to introduce a system whereby bank customers – or victims – will be able to make victim impact statements. If the banks do develop a moral compass there are also plans to change the language of the catholic church and the public sector unions.”

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2 Responses to New era dawns as banks refer to customers as victims

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Annie West and Donal Conaty, Maire Garvey. Maire Garvey said: @anniewestdotcom New era dawns as banks refer to customers as victims http://bit.ly/89M4AP – seriously – is it April 1st already?? :-) [...]

  2. [...] http://themire.net/new-era-dawns-as-banks-refer-to-customers-as-victims/ The Mire has learned that the interim financial watchdog is to reform the language of banking as an initial step in trying to change the behaviour of banks. “Most bankers don’t think they did anything wrong,” a spokesman said. “By changing the language of banking we believe bankers will come to accept that what they do is wrong and will ultimately stop doing it. “So, from January 11th bank customers will be referred to as ‘victims’ and all transactions will be known as ‘muggings’ or ‘violations’. This is a small step but we believe it is a step in the right direction,” he added. “It is hoped at a later date to introduce a system whereby bank customers – or victims – will be able to make victim impact statements. If the banks do develop a moral compass there are also plans to change the language of the catholic church and the public sector unions.”   [...]

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