Bouncers and other musclebound security workers who have lost employment in the downturn were offered hope today when FAS announced funding to retrain them to look after the ever increasing number of obese people who are now too fat to look after themselves.
Apparently the growing incidence of obesity in those requiring care has made it impossible for the traditional carer to cater for them. “The obesity epidemic has put a whole new set of demands on carers,” a traditional carer said. “In the past most of our clients were elderly and we always made sure to keep them malnourished. They were easy to lift and easy to boss around but these days you need a hoist just to turn them over in bed.”
FAS said there was clearly opportunities in obesity. “There are definitely opportunities out there for musclebound carers,” a spokesman said. “There is a growing demand for care in the home as many people are now too fat to get out. There is also a growing trend in obesity among patients in the country’s nursing homes. As a result of this there has been a surge in work related injuries to carers who have been putting their backs out while turning obese people over in their beds.”
Those who complete the training course will receive a Safe Pass in correct lifting procedures for carers as well as information on how to distinguish bed sores from Frosties and other breakfast cereals.[poll id="7"]
distinguish bed sores from Frosties…..love it.
bacon scraps can also be deceptive
mmmmm….. Frosties!