Results from the Performance Evaluation monitors placed on 200 public servants yesterday have come to the controversial conclusion that as many as 37 per cent of state employees are probably dead.
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On a clear day you can see the confusion for miles. Irish news and current affairs skewed.
Monitors reveal 37% of state employees are ‘probably’ dead
Pitiful victims of recession run aimlessly around Dublin
The extent to which the recession is devastating the country became fully apparent yesterday as 12,750 pitiful wretches took to the streets of the capital.
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Public servants to trial pay-related performance monitors
Public service unions desperate to avoid another round of pay cuts in the December budget have reluctantly agreed to the trial of pay-related Performance Evaluation Monitors for public servants.
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Diggers to be impounded in vacant hotels and shops to avert atm crime
Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern is to introduce emergency legislation to impound all diggers and other plant machinery in an effort to put a stop to the recent spate of atm robberies using stolen diggers.
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Govt fury at Waterford by-pass finishing within budget
The Government has promised that no expense will be spared in investigating the circumstances that enabled the Waterford city by-pass to be completed on budget and ahead of schedule.
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Enda Kenny to abolish Dail, Fine Gael and himself
In a radical move that has sent shockwaves through the political system Fine Gael leader and Taoiseach in waiting Enda Kenny has said that he will abolish the Dail and the office of Taoiseach when he becomes Taoiseach.
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Cost benefit analysis of state agencies fails to find any benefit
A cost benefit analysis of all state agencies which was ordered by Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan has had to be abandoned after it could find no discernible benefit to measure cost against.
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Huge setback for HSE as citizens are allergic to well being
Disaster has struck the Health Service Executive’s (HSE) ambitious plan to solve all the country’s health problems by spraying citizens with WellBeing, the new perfume created by Givenchy in association with the HSE.
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TDs to bring toilet roll to work, but not yet ready to be toilet-trained
The Brutalised Taxpayers’ Association (BTA) has welcomed news that TDs and Senators will bring toilet roll to work with them in future to help curb rampant costs.
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