Public service unions desperate to avoid another round of pay cuts in the December budget have reluctantly agreed to the trial of pay-related Performance Evaluation Monitors for public servants.
The monitors, based on high performance units which are used to gauge performance in elite athletes, will be fitted to 200 public servants after the bank holiday weekend.
The highly sophisticated monitors will give a clear indication of the percentage of time each public servant spends working and how hard they work during that time. If the trial proves successful, all future public service pay will be based on monitored performance.
As the monitors were initially used to gauge the high levels of performance of elite athletes a team of technicians is working around the clock to “dumb down” the units.
“We have to dumb them down,” a technician said. “You don’t judge a donkey and a racehorse by the same criteria.”
Public service unions are confident that the trials will demonstrate that their members are working flat out. They are also confident that all public service sick days are genuine and that shopping trips and cinema outings are a legitimate form of treatement for a wide variety of ailments.
