Despite suggestions to the contrary, The Mire can confirm that the second coming of Jesus Christ will go ahead as scheduled at Lissadell House, Sligo, this summer.
There were concerns that the eagerly anticipated event might be cancelled due to the ongoing High Court case over alleged rights of way at Lissadell.
“Jesus was worried about that,” a promoter said. “He hasn’t forgotten the chaotic security during the first coming and it ended badly for him. If there had only been restricted access to the gardens of Gethsemane things could have turned out differently.”
“However, he was fine once we assured him the event would be all seated and ticket only,” he added. “Jesus still loves you but he’s not a big fan of rights of way. ”
The promoter confirmed that Jesus’ decision to hold the second coming at Lissadell followed the success of his mother’s appearance at nearby Knock last year. “Her experience was decisive in convincing Jesus to do this,” he said. “Leonard Cohen confirming for July also helped.”
