The country’s leading heroin dealers have offered their distribution networks for the swine flu vaccination programme in the event that the Health Service Executive (HSE) and the Irish Medical Organisation (IMO) fail to reach agreement on rolling out the vaccinations.
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Irish news and current affairs skewed. On a clear day you can see the confusion for miles
Posts Tagged ‘ HSE ’
Dealers offer heroin networks for roll-out of swine flu vaccinations
Patients prepared to die rather than risk even routine surgery
Almost 9,000 patients – many of whom are critically ill – have cancelled operations in the first six months of the year rather than risk botched surgery carried out by consultants who come from the same gene pool as the country’s bankers and other professionals.
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Bike scheme threatened as obese cyclists won’t go up hills
The Health Service Executive (HSE) has rallied to the defence of obese, unfit people, in Dublin who have been availing of the Dublinbikes scheme only to abandon their bikes as soon as they come to an uphill stretch of road.
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HSE banks on ‘WellBeing’ perfume to cure all ills
The Health Service Executive (HSE) has bounced back from its disastrous attempt to hand health services over to Ryanair and announced a joint venture with Givenchy to produce WellBeing a perfume which it is hoped will completely eliminate the need for any form of health care.
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HSE says children with swine flu should be kept in sheds
The Health Service Executive (HSE) is advising parents of children sent home from school with swine flu to keep their distance from their offspring no matter how attached to them they are.
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Ryanair abandons healthcare – ‘bloody invalids!’
Ryanair’s running of the health service is over less than one month after it begun. The airline had agreed to take over the role of the Health Service Executive (HSE) and outsource all treatment to Spain but sources say Ryanair bosses could not tolerate the number of disabled passengers they had to facilitate.
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‘Inconsiderate’ Irish thrive on ill health
The Irish people are now living longer than ever despite their best efforts. This unwarranted longevity is causing consternation in the Health Promotion department of the Health Service Executive (HSE) as staff there believe it is sending out the wrong message.
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Ryanair to run health service, HSE to focus on ARSE
The Mire can exclusively reveal that the Health Service Executive (HSE) is preparing to make a clean break with health care in order to concentrate on meaningless studies. Remarkably, we have discovered that Ryanair is to take over the health service and outsource all treatment to Spain. Patients will be able to avail of...
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