Tag Archive
Confusion as Augusta holes cemented so as not to tempt Tiger
There was widespread confusion at Augusta National today after the holes on the course were filled in with quick-drying cement to stop Tiger Woods having sex with them. »
Broadcasters ban vagina to help Tiger Woods fight sex addiction
The decision by television stations in the United States not to broadcast tampon adverts with the word vagina in them was intended to help Tiger Woods in his battle with sex addiction, The Mire has learned. »
Women everywhere deny having sex with Mark Owen
Mark Owen, a member of pop group Take That, is expected to apologise later today for mistakenly believing he had sex with a number of women. »
Chelsea players have sex with local woman while celebrating goal
A local Wolverhampton woman has said she felt used after several Chelsea players had sex with her while celebrating Didier Drogba’s second goal against Wolverhampton Wanderers at Molineux on Saturday. »
All eyes on Tiger as he appears in public without shagging anyone
All eyes will be on Florida at 4pm today when Tiger Woods is to attempt to appear in public for up to 20 minutes without shagging anyone. »
Faithful woman denies sex romps with Terry,Tiger
A Tullamore woman who insists she has never had sex with John Terry or Tiger Woods has been dismissed as a liar and a delusional fantasist with no grasp on reality. »
iPad Roleplay gives users full Charlie Bird experience
A little known feature of the new Apple iPad is the facility whereby users can set their unit to give them the virtual experiences of a celebrity of their choice. »
Officials consider hiring on-course milfs to entice Tiger back to golf
The Mire has learned that senior officials in professional golf are considering hiring on-course milfs to entice Tiger Woods back to the professional game. »
Van Morrison denies affair with Tiger, also denies knowing himself
The Mire is able to reveal that there is still considerable confusion as to whether Tiger Woods and Van Morrison had a baby together over Christmas. »
The Mire reflects on a pig’s mickey of a year – twisted and crooked
It was a year that began with a visit from several British MPs to Dail Eireann to study the mystifying way in which our TDs resisted resigning. »