A language school is offering to translate all Irish Independent articles into Polish to see what they are about.
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The Government wants the unemployed to make themselves useful to the employed rather than let the devil make work for their idle hands to do.
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Thousands of pilgrims are travelling to the OECD headquarters in Paris in a spirit of prayer after an official there had a vision of jobs in Ireland.
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A Fine Gael spokesman this morning condemned the Govenment for “the cynical ploy” of offering free sunbed sessions to the unemployed.
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Fas has conceded defeat in its efforts to hire revolutionaries to put the country back on track. Ads with all the key recruitment agencies have failed to attract a single applicant.
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Small businesses and the unemployed are hoping for a reprieve from floods and recession when up to 250,000 public servants bring their considerable spending power to towns around the country.
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Sources on both sides of the Bank of Ireland pay dispute have admitted that reaching resolution on the issue is unlikely unless it can be established what the staff involved actually do for a living.
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While increasing numbers of Mirish people continue to suffer the indignity of having to eat sandwiches instead of paninis, the boom years are just beginning for the nation’s Con Sultans as they prepare to offer their expertise to the process of implementing An Bord Snip Nua’s cost-cutting measures.
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The Health Service Executive (HSE) and Dept of Social Welfare are looking for volunteers from the public service for a joint study into the impact and implications of long term unemployment.
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A spokesman for third level, VEC and Fas education and training bodies has strongly defended the delay in rolling out course places for the new unemployed, saying that the training situation facing them now is different to anything they have ever had to deal with before.
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