The Catholic Church may recruit atheist priests if vocations continue to fall, The Mire has learned.
Although the church yesterday ruled out the ordination of women priests – apparently they multitask when they’re supposed to be saying mass - it is understood that secret trials of atheist priests have surpassed expectations.
“They’re not hung up on God which seems to make them more rounded individuals,” a source said. “Atheists are welcome in the priesthood if they are willing to pay lip service to the God stuff.”
Vocations have been falling steadily since the church began to frown on the activities of paedophile priests but the source was keen to stress that the priesthood is still an attractive career prospect.
“You get a house, a housekeeper, you get to live parasitically off your community,” he explained. “And you can prey on wealthy isolated elderly people in their own homes. What’s not to like?
[...] Are atheist priests the answer to the problems of the Roman Catholic Church? [...]